DISCLAIMER: Opinions expressed on this page do not necessarily express
the opinions of CommuniCreations. All opinions are the sole opinion of the
opinion writer and represents his or her opinion only. Opinions expressed
in "It's Our Opinion" follow the guidelines established by the
Associated Press in regards to libel and style. But, that's just our humble
opinion and actual opinions may conflict with their opinion on occasion.
An arresting development. But who are they punishing?
A teenager cuts school a lot and shoplifts. So the judge, in his infinite
wisdom, decides to shackle the girl to her mother for two weeks. Anyone
who has a teenager would have to wonder who's being punished here -- the
daughter or the mother. We can just hear it now: "Mom, do you have
to hang around with me at the mall? Can't you just pretend you're not here!"
Uh, yeah!
Now that the government's shut down, we're going to Disney World!
OK, maybe it's just us. But when the government shut down, why did federal
employees who were sent home still get back pay? Between the cost to pay
them their ordinary salary plus restart the government, it cost us taxpayers
more money to shut the government down than keep it running. And if that
weren't enough, a couple hundred park service employees were flown to Disney
World to learn how to give better tours through the use of magic. Well there's
another $100 grand or so . . . Sounds a little Goofy to us. Who runs this
Mickey Mouse organization we call the federal government?
And then they turn around and close it again!
And just when you were starting to get used to the inefficiencies, they
shut the government down again. And for what? They say the government doesn't
have any money. Well who does with a $3 or $4 trillion debt? They haven't
had any money for a long time. Now what really worries us is that these
are the same folks who print the money. Unlike the rest of us, they can
always just make more. But noooo, Congress lays off the people who make
the money at the very moment the government needs money the most. Didn't
someone once mentioning a giant sucking sound? Well, it's not coming from
Mexico. It's coming from between the ears of our Congressmen.
Build it and they will come. Really.
Yanking a page right out of the Seattle Mariners' playbook, the Seahawks
have decided that by winning games, people may actually support them at
the ticket office. Now that the Hawks are hovering on the playoff bubble,
people are starting to talk about renovating the ailing Kingdome to the
tune of $150 million. After all, the Mariners almost went to the World Series
and they get a new ballpark. The Hawks, at 8-8, are a potential Wild Card
contender for the Super Bowl, so why not throw a stadium their way too.
Of course, they could just play their lousy eight home games in the living
room of Bill Gates' new mansion on Mercer Island and save us a bunch of
money in the process. Bill probably has better beer too.
Speed Racer moves to Montana. . .
Envy is such an ugly thing. Now that the federal restriction on speed limits
has been lifted, Montana has opened many of its endless stretches of highway
to the 'no limit' speed limit. You can cruise along as fast as you want.
Ah, but here in the Retroactive State, we're only going to study the possibility
of raising interstate speeds to a reasonable rate. Perhaps our State Legislators
should make the (yawn!) drive between Ellensburg and Ritzville before voting.
After tooling through this stretch of boring highway, they'll be ready to
raise the speed limit to Warp Drive. From here on out, we won't make any
more Montana jokes in these pages, he says sheepishly.
How do you get work in Washington? Move out of the state.
South Kitsap School District, known for having the largest high school in
the state because citizens keep voting levies down, recently brought in
a public relations consultant from the East Coast to make three presentations
to school officials. And what a bargain. . . only $2,000 a day, or roughly
$250 an hour. That's down from the normal fee of $6,000 a day. So that's
what we're doing wrong here. Perhaps CommuniCreations should jack its fee
up to $6,000 a day and fly all the way over to the East Coast to be a consultant.
Isn't that the definition of consultant: someone from out of state?
Ferry boat mathematics: State Math 101.
A ferry boat passenger wants to return to his home in Port Orchard, usually
a 35 minute trip. He boards the 1 p.m. ferry from West Seattle, docking
at Vashon Island 15 minutes later. The boat sits in the Vashon dock until
1:50 p.m. It finally arrives at Southworth at 2 p.m. The following run is
a direct route from West Seattle to Southworth, a trip of approximately
15 minutes. Now, thinking like State ferry officials, justify to us why
the stupid ferry sits at Vashon for 35 minutes when the entire trip should
last that long?
HOME
Got a comment or submission? You can reach CommuniCreations at ccreate@pacific.telebyte.com. We'd love to hear from you.......